elaine_g55's Xanga

An update

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 09:57:30 GMT

Just to let everyone know that i chickened out at the last minute and I didn't go for LASIK so now am rich muahahaha!!! $$$$

Other than that have just been toying which a few story ideas which i have the below in progress but i definitely feel that it needs to be fleshed out more and def not so abrupt an ending. What do you think?

In the night I walk alone.

Kuala Lumpur, 12.05am

The smoke from my cigarette curls lazily into the night air, perfuming an otherwise unbearable stench emanating from the streets with their bouquet of left behind garbage, the rats raking their claws on the bags, spilling its contents on the road. I don’t help matters when I dragged upon the last of my cigarette butt and flicked it away.

My heels tap nervously as I stride upon the pavement. After all, hearing about the reports of rape, murder, women being kidnapped in the black of the night it is no wonder women are nervous even of a stranger in broad daylight.

Some would carry flashlights, pepper spray, an illegal taser or two. Some would take up self defence courses offers at community centres. Some would read the emails circulating around on what to do if you are in danger. ‘If you are in the boot of a car, break the tail light, put your hand out and wave’. Fear is always ever present. It is being in a deserted car park, having the lights switch off behind you one by one, something out of a horror movie made real.

Despite all this I enjoy the danger, flirting with my life nightly as I refused to be cowed by these reports, an insidious attempt by the patriarchy of our society to keep women in their place where they are supposedly safe. I cannot help but laugh at this as reports of abuse and incest in the homes of hundreds filter through our newspapers thus proving that danger is everywhere.

A car comes up my side. The window slides open and a man, balding with a slight paunch asks ‘Are you lost?’ I lean through the window, smiled and said ‘For RM50 I won’t be.’

No more trips BAWL!!!

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 05:46:52 GMT

Great all my plans for 2nd half of 2009 shot to hell as I've decided to get LASIK which costs me RM10k!!! Am going to extremely broke... but am really happy am finally doing it as have been wanting to do it for ages plus I will get laser beam eyes and can actually give ppl killer glares... muahahahaha

Other than that just crossing my fingers and hoping that things will fall into place my way...

Starting to reclaim my life back now

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 10:01:26 GMT

OMG i can't believe it's been 6 months since I've last updated which goes to show the mad busy stressed out hectic work schedule gives me. Although i guess i shouldn't complain considering have done the following:-

Jan - Back from Japan

Feb - S'pore Friends came to see me in KL

March - Bali

Apr - S'pore

May - Hanoi

and trying to schedule the following in future:-

June - S'pore

Jul - Nothing yet

Aug - Aussie?

Sept - HK?

Oct - Dec - Nothing as of yet

But seriously today was the day where I was going like OMG most of my work is...almost done. That is until something flares up 'unexpectedly'. So maybe i shouldn't speak so soon.

I think the problem would be that i've put so many things and people on hold that i really wonder whether i left things a little too late. I would like to rescue whatever that can be resuscitated but if it's gone... it's gone. Well here's hoping that my relationships are more resilient than i think they are.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Thu, 08 Jan 2009 04:11:00 GMT

Well just came back from Japan (which I went to 6 mths ago don't hate me) so some of the things were pretty familiar. Considering I was ill the entire trip which started off with body aches and slight fever to end with running nose, flam and sore throat (v v bad considering I couldn't even talk) it was fun nevertheless and I got to do some stuff I wanted to do the last time (although sadly the butler cafes were closed). But was happy to go and loved Japan so so much

Inside the todaiji at Nara

At shibuya station

Tokyo tower 2009

The japanese opera house at Ginza

Trying to be a poser japanese here

Shibuya (pretty much the meeting spot everyday for all MS people)

Yummy yummy japanese food god I could eat it everyday plus it's so nice and healthy!

What beauty means to me and the pleasure derived from it

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 02:26:57 GMT

I've recently been asked this question and this is my short essay on it.

People say ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’; however the mark of ultimate beauty is one that appeals to everyone’s sensibilities no matter who or what they are.

Therefore beauty can be divided into 2 things:-

1. Physical/aesthetics

2. Emotional/mental (what is inside)

In the physical is pretty obvious is which can be seen/ what is presented to the public. A lump of rock can be seen as beautiful in its shape/form/etc. In that sense beauty is an art of perfection, harmony and symmetry (very much like Ikebana, the Japanese art of flower arranging). In the sciences it would be seen as the simplicity and elegance an equation can solve the most complex of puzzles.

For the emotional/mental would be that certain quality coming from one who is a good person (i.e. Ugly Betty). Also something which Dove has been banging on.

Hence what can beauty be used to gain pleasure would be the cynical and the ideal version.

Physical/aesthetics

The pleasure derived from this would mainly be in the form of possession. The fact which you are able to own such a thing/person means that you are a person of means as a beautiful thing would naturally be a coveted thing by the public. Also it would be a status symbol and one that elevates you in the eye of the public.

However when you look upon a beautiful landscape, I think it always makes you appreciate that exact moment in time in which you are able to see such a wondrous sight and makes you glad that you’re alive moreover when it is something which you have always longed to see. Perhaps it goes back to having a sense of achievement.

However for personal beauty, the pleasure derived will probably be other people’s obvious want to be in your presence, the compliments given and the favors granted. In this sense beauty can be used as a bargaining chip, hence the usage of actresses and models to lend presence to any events in which their presence makes any party seem more glamorous as we assume that the beautiful would have their lives full of amazing things which they have somehow deigned their presence with us on this little social gathering.

In the end though, using your physical beauty to derive pleasure is never a good idea as beauty is fleeting. You will be replaced by another trophy wife, you will try to hold on to your youth which is quickly slipping away, you will end up like those highly botoxed women who dress 20 years younger than they should.

Emotional/Mental

Inner beauty and the pleasure derived from it seems to be two contradictory statements as a person who is truly good would not derive pleasure out of it. Happiness, thankfulness yes but not pleasure as pleasure to me is derived out of self satisfaction which a truly saintly person would not want that.

However if I were to make some sort of supposition it would be that the pleasure gotten would be the happiness reflected in that person’s eyes upon receiving some good deed be it in action or goods. It is also that sense of appreciation given by people whom you do not know or the kindness extended towards you as I believe that good people gravitate towards each other.

I guess another pleasure would be in the sense of being a savior/rescuer in which you are able to turn another person who seems to be on the road to perdition into a better soul.

Overall inner beauty is sacrificial of oneself to the other person’s benefit and whatever pleasure derived would be of other people and not yourself.

Conclusion

Ultimate beauty is someone who is both beautiful inside and outside which is a rare achievement indeed. Studies have shown the more beautiful you are the more access and privileges are granted in which you do not need to work on your inner beauty as things easily come to you anyway. So the better option is to be beautiful inside as people who appreciate your true beauty are people worth having. So pleasure is having known you are surrounded by the people who love you just as you are.

Am slightly embarassed right now but happy

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 03:29:00 GMT

Happened to Google 8TV Clear Goda which up popped my blog and the last entry was read 50 times!!! Anyway thank you all who's actually taken the time to actually read through the few pages of my blog (note to self : must sign up for advertlets) but will see the traffic die down after the series end. Most of all am just happy that the series has had positive reception and people are actually curious to look online.

Of course if you want to see Clear Goda series 2 please support Clear shampoo! Thanks!

In other news am seriously considering going down to Singapore to watch Sergio Mendes. I would say most people are probably wanting to hear more of his recent album Encanto but I do hope that he'll play his older album esp those with Brazil 66 too. It'll be interesting to note how he has weaved in Bossa nova with that era's music of the day through the decades. Unfortunately it's in the middle of the week moreover it's also my mom's b'day on the day itself. Can i cross fingers and hope that they'll bring him in to KL?

Catch Clear Goda on 8tv.com.my

Fri, 15 Aug 2008 06:37:23 GMT

Anyway sad sad that am so so happy that my name is actually in the credits. Anyway it was a long process and now will cross my fingers and hope that it will bring positive results. Basically it's about a guy called M who's a love coach ala hitch and he's a mystery and will only be revealed until the end of the series. I can tell you that it's well produced and entertaining and of course the link is as follows :-

http://www.8tv.com.my/Shows/EpHighlight.aspx?MasterID=368&ShowID=419&MenuID=2&SubMenuID=1&TemplateID=1&EpID=11204&VideoID=12492

MSF!

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 07:53:26 GMT

Nothing much to report really but it was eventful in a not so good way since I had food poisoning on the first day hence missed all the performance and dancing that 1st night. The next day found me pretty weak so everything which happened that day went in a blur. I guess it was pretty unfortunate that I was pretty antisocial the whole weekend but I at least did get to enjoy saturday. Love love love the zouk lambada and kizomba dances they were sooooo slow and romantic.

Zouk lambada

Kizomba

Def wanting to go to Aussie soon so could hopefully learn more about the dances (unfortunately they don't teach it here) and man their bachatas are GOOD.

Why I should move to S'pore

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 08:19:09 GMT

1. Petrol going up to RM2.70 means and increase in my fuel (considering the fact that I pay monthly installments and road tax and parking and toll means that in total comes up to RM1000 over). At least would be able to get rid of the car and take public transportation in S'pore which would be cheaper.

2. My mom is retiring this year and it's already bad enough during the school holidays what more with her being around almost 24/7. I need my space and to get as far away as possible.

3. I have friends there and guys whom I am more than happy to meet.

4. I definitely would have way more fun there and am sure any job that i take there would be one in which I can springboard myself to bigger things.

5. I need a revolution in my life (even though this may seem to be an evolution).

Japan!

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 10:39:56 GMT

Well japan was I guess fun although I really really don't like tours and in the end didn't feel like I got the most out of it. So am actually looking forward to my company possibly going to Hokkaido (went to Kyoto, Tokyo and Osaka) which am def crossing fingers that they'll fly to tokyo so at least i can spend a few days there. Def wanting to explore the place to the max.

Me in the yukata which is pretty much a Japanese bathrobe. Would say tho going to the Japan baths was an interesting event. Def not for the modest types.

I think this was supposed to be the royal court kind of kimono. Very elegant and cumbersome.

The famous Kyoto geishas. Unfortunately didn't manage to catch them to take a picture with.

Me at tokyo disneyland. Very windy and chilly day which probably explains my face.